Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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