Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
