Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
please don't ironically join a cult
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