As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize