So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
