ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
