i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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