I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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