peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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