Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
