I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
