I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize