i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
