I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
