I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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