Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
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