So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
