Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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