Moan for me like Helen Keller
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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