you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
