That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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