i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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