This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i out mim tonsoeep
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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