you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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