i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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