so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
