This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
birth control should be required to get into college
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
