You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
smell my finger.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have fence marks all over my body
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