I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
