dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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