scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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