I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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