I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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