She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
