party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
