im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
