After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
