So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
