How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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