No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize