Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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