Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Where is the hickey?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
