well I can't set my house on fire every night
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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