I wish I could punch you in the face.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
