I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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