Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
