So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
