Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
