Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
