i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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