he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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