Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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